Sunday, December 27, 2009

alien super computer

alien space craft have been spotted more and more frequently lately. they have become more bold in their appearances as well, some sitings lasting as long as 30 min or more. bright lights flying slowly in tight formations over heavily populated areas have been filmed from multiple directions. local law enforcement have taken hundreds of reports from eye witnesses. these ships have been witnessed by thousands of people in large cities all over the world. but now the aliens have taken it one step further by installing at least one super computer here on earth, there may be more it is hard to say for sure as the information is still being gathered.
we do know it weighs about ten pounds and is constructed of some type of soft, almost fatty like material, it jiggles when shaken. this super computer uses a human body as a battery, and as if this sick display of total disregard for human life was not enough, the human battery is still conscious. it is carried by the human host where ever he goes. it is a constant burden and bulges from the belly of the man it was implanted in. the super computers purpose is as yet unknown.
the implant was done late at night while the man slept, there is no visible scaring or evidence of the mysterious surgery. the man does feel some tightness and muscle soreness on the right side just under the ribs. the biggest evidence is the obvious bulge. the man simply went to sleep on Christmas eve and woke on Christmas day with this hideous protrusion just above his belt.
how do we know so much about these events? well...that man is me. i will keep you up to date as i try to discover more about this super computer in my gut and why i was chosen to carry this burden. it saddens me to not be able to see my toes but with the help of family and friends i hope to uncover the mystery of the implant and may even attempt to have it removed.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

a day at the beach or a frozen basement

today i visited a house where in the basement; water rained from the pipes above like a beautiful april afternoon. drywall was laying on the floor taking a break from hanging on the ceiling. the carpet lazily waved like a tide pool at the beech. my foot prints were visible like tracks in the sand. the sound of water falls and rain drops were all around.
our cold weather snap a couple weeks ago was a bit much for the water pipes. then our warm week this week thawed it all out.
the kicker is the utilities are all on at the meter. but the heat was off at the thermostat and the breakers were all off at the box. not sure who planned this party.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

workin on a book

been working on a book for those who don't know. about 4000 words so far. another 120000 and i should be there.
its about a kid with a magic sword. good and evil and all that. hope it comes out as good as i imagine it.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

i would like to thank the little people and thanksgiving what nots.







when blogging you long for the day when you will find the extreme poularity of double digit followers. that day has come. i am now with eleven followers. i would like to extend a special thanks to my dearest friends on the internet, but most especially moe. with out you i would be at ten which is still double digits but none the less you make me an even eleven.

for thanksgiving we had two dinners to go to. one on thanksgiving day at my inlaws. and one in cedar on saturday with my....outlaws?? not sure what i would call my regular family. i guess i could just call them rf from now on. well down at the rf's thanksgiving two days after the real thanksgiving day we had a largeish crowed at my sister shastas. i say my sister shasta because moe may not know who she is. i know moe is not shasta because shasta is already a follower, under her real name of shasta. all the original gangstas were there. and all the outlaws inlaws or rf's inlaws which is to say the og's spouces. or ogs's. along with all the little peeps or ogp's.
the meal went well. we had a great feast on fancy dining sets in a big fancy house with a big fancy drink fountain with multiple levels and rotating lights. we ate on paper plates with plastic forks and drank from plastic cups, but there was an overwhelming amount of dirty dishes to deal with anyway. so overwhelming in fact i stayed clear of the kitchen for a good hour after dinner.
we laughed, played games and even did some photos. we did one photo called "sibling rivalry" during the sibling rivalry all my sisters and one brother decided to just pick on me. or at least it felt like that. i had fingers pulling my nose, fingers in my ear, an arm holding me in a half nelson and someone was tickling me. this could be suppressed anger and jealousy of my awesomeness or it could be total love and affection of an oldest brother who took great care of his younger siblings. except my younger brother justin who i threw down a flight of stairs, broke his nose twice and shot him with a pellet gun. i loved him them most.
on saturday several of the ogs's and a few og's (no peeps) headed out to three peaks for some paintball action. there were some fancy guns out there several of which broke down a number of times. my gun was a rental that may have been brought across the planes by original pioneer stock or ops's. it was tattered and torn and best of all it would drop paintballs out its nose if pointed down. it had a magic ability to shoot 2 or 5 paint balls at a time whenever it felt like it. the mask, it came with, was cleaned with 80 grit sandpaper and smelled of elder berries. tom was the lucky person to initiate me into the sport by shooting me in the hand at close proximity. it was a cold day and it hurt very much. all in all it was good times for nearly everyone, except ronny who sat at the top of a cold rock in the wind with a broken gun, wearing a facemask just in case a stray paint ball came her way.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

explanation of unseen things

i would like to talk about something serious now. this is something that threatens peoples lives every day. most people never see it coming and is always blamed on something else, heart attack, stroke, trip and fall and any number of unavoidable sudden disasters in peoples lives.

its invisible ninjas. they are everywhere. you may think what can i do to protect myself? well there is a special group of people who do just that, protect you and your family from surprise invisible ninja attacks.

have you ever seen someone throwing a punch or a high round house kick to what appears to be air? or perhaps using invisible nun chucks, sword, or staff. these are trained professionals who not only see invisible ninjas but do fierce and deadly battle with them every day. have you ever seen someone who appears to be having a heated argument all by themselves. they are in a heated exchange with an invisible ninja.

now you may think that people using invisible guns would be included with this group of protectors. no they are just crazy people. there is no such thing as an invisible gun.

i did once witness a man at a bus stop who was in an invisible ninja rock band. i believe he used music to disarm his foe and turn them from their evil ways of senseless killing. i would like to tip my hat to that man, he has my utmost respect.

i am one of those protectors who is charged with defending the ninja blind. i and my family are under constant attack from these unseen menacing masters of kung foo. there have been many instances when a quick throat jab or kick to the head has saved the lives of those i love.

my reason for telling my story is to open the doors of communication and understanding. to build bridges of hope and caring between our two worlds. i do not do it to brag of my amazing bow staff skills or my ability to catch and return an invisible throwing star with inhuman like speed and accuracy. no this is about a new world where the ninja blind and protectors can come together under the umbrella of respect. you to respect my amazingness and me to respect your inability to defend yourself against the unseen deliverers of death.

you may join my cause by donating money so that i may provide the invisible but desperately needed weapons. when you donate you will receive a card with invisible letters explaining which protector was trained and what weapon they received on your behalf. also your name will be placed on a list that will entitle you to special protection. and perhaps the most comforting blessing you will receive; the next time you see someone karate chopping the air you will have the sense of belonging to that special group that defend the innocent against the evil that is... invisible ninja.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

to moe

dear moe
i don't know who you are. you are one of my 9 followers bringing me to near double digits in popularity.
i am kind of excited, like i have a secret admirer or the like.
maybe you're my edward. sneaking into my room to watch me sleep with your diamond like skin. i appreciate your devotion but it creeps me out so don't hang out in my room while i'm asleep. i know its the in thing now but it just strikes me as wrong.
you could be a secret agent checking me out for a special assignment.
or a member of the secret service making sure i'm not planning an assassination. (i'm really not)
or an alien friend of mine keeping track of a mind control device that was planted years ago. (it no longer works)
or maybe your a millionaire on your death bed trying to find some kind soul who enlightens others with clever remarks on the world wide web that you would like to leave all your money to. well i am that man my friend.
i wait to see if you make a post so i can guess who you are. but you just sit there in utter silence with no photo and no clues as to your identity. its kind of weird but kind of ok with me. especially if there is money involved. unless i have to pay to get it shipped to me from nigeria

Sunday, November 15, 2009

blog sweet blog

oh my dear bloggy, i'm sorry i have nglected you so long. i miss our quite time together. i make a post and people i know make cute comments. it was good times.
now i'm on the face book and a bunch of odd balls i don't know make comments on peoples comments that i haven't seen nor talked with in years and it all pops up on my computer screen like a loud blaring siren that says you are not as cool as all these people who have conversations right in front of your face that you are not a part of so dont even try.
that was a long sentence but my sweet blog doesn't care, it loves me for who i am. a long winded weirdo who barley makes sence to himself and whos spelling is so bad that if you were able to follow my random rant you will soon be lost by misspelled words and bad grammars.
but this is my safe place so it is all ok. warm and wonderful here in my blog sweet blog.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

do it your self

i am a do it yourselfer. which can give you a great sense of accomplishment but it also has its draw backs. instead of buying things i need or want often times i try to build it my self which usually costs more, looks worse and sometimes results in not just time to build what ever but time off work from an injury.
there are several things you should not do yourself...ever. the first is dry wall. especially if you are trying to stop cussing. the second is dry wall. and the third is dentistry.
i am however considering taking up acupuncture. i figure if i build a board with all the little needles sticking out then lay flat on my tummy and lower the board using a pulley system connected to the ceiling it should work.
or my second idea is to set up a manifold system with pipes and an air compressor. i could use a web cam to aim it and then hit a button which would be connected to a valve and launch the small needles into the correct pain relieving spot on my back or neck. i know that 100 psi will shoot a broomstick out of a pipe, across the back yard and sink it into a dirt hill about a foot and a half. so with those calculations i figure 65 psi will be about right. now i just need a map of what spot on the back is connected to what pain and about 3 to 400 bucks in parts and i could save my self the 60 bucks it would cost to go to a trained professional.

my new calling

i was finally released from the elders quorum after nearly 4 years and now am serving with my lovely bride in the primary. we team teach the 10 year old kids. its like a dream job. only requires sundays and i get to sit with my wife throughout the entire sunday block. heidi has more experience with teaching kids so she comes prepared with games and stuff. i'm used to reading through the lesson once and having a big discussion about the topic and not getting to finish the lesson because everyone has a story about their mission they wanted to tell. today i taught and apparently the curtains were much more interesting. the kids were just tipping their chairs and fiddling with dresses and anything else they could reach. it kind of sucked. i told heidi she was going to have to teach from now on but i doubt that will fly, shes not a huge fan of teaching either even though it goes much better when she does it.
last week we were practicing for the primary program and we all had to watch the chorister so we knew when to stand and sit. well apparently i took a half step to one side while standing and then when instructed to sit i only got half of the chair and it must have been my lighter half since i promptly leaned to the un-chaired side and fell to the ground. not just your regular i've fallen and can't get up, no this had some flair to it as the chaired side of my posterior flipped over the un-chaired side and threw my face into the wall. the kids thought this was the funniest thing ever. i quickly jumped back into my seat very red faced and enjoyed the giggles coming from my class. good times! good times!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Get Rich Quick Schemes That Really Do Work.

I am a genius, as many of you know, and as such many people have asked me how to obtain fame and fortune in this life. Naturally I am above material things except for big houses, nice cars, huge yachts, beach front property, small jets, pringles and game systems. oh and puppies.
So I have decided to compose a list of my top get rich quick schemes that can work for you.

The first is simple. First a man (or woman) with a drinking problem hides their addiction well enough to get a job driving truck. Then gets hired by a top beer company. While drunk, drives their truck and crashes into you causing minor injuries but a major lawsuit. Good luck, but really any decent lawyer could get you a truck load of cash. If you need help selecting an attorney, consult the back of your phone book. shazam! see the stars are moving into place already!

The second is almost as simple and with even less steps. First memorize all the harry potter books. Then invent a time machine. Travel back in time and wright the books yourself. shazam a library full of cash. The reason you have to memorize them is obvious, because just like in the back to the future movies things will start to disappear. You don't want to get half way through the half blood prince and have the book you are copying start to vanish. You would have to think up the rest on your own and that's like a couple thousand pages.

The third I hesitate to share as it is the one I am currently working on myself. The basic principal is that aliens will come down and ask me to be their personal guide on a tour of the earth. When I explain to them it will take money and that I have none, they will simply give me a few "out of this world gadgets" to patten and sell. Then they return and we go on tour. As we tour around the world they will find it handy that the guide know all the languages of earth. Knowing it would take a lifetime to learn them all, they will simply hook me up to their mind machine and program my brain with the needed info. Once I have learned where the machine is and how it works I simply sneak in while they are distracted looking at the man with all the tattoos and hook my self up to the guitar program. In minutes I become the greatest guitarist in history and shazam I'm rich and can play the guitar. The money wouldn't come from the inventions, just the yacht and the jet. The real money is in the guitar playing as I prefer to work for my money.

The fourth is probably the easiest and quickest. You learn real estate investing from a game. Then go find a mortgage broker who knows how to "work the numbers" and get a bunch of properties then wait for someone to offer you more then you paid for them and shazam a house full of money.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

a cute thing max did.

so yesterday Heidi said to me "maybe you could put a post on your blog tomorrow." so I asked what I should blog church about and she replied "I don't know, some cute thing max did."

not sure if this would qualify but Max and I went to the homecoming of my cousin brad in Lindon. while we sat in the back of the meeting Max got bored, Heidi usually brings a bag of tricks for him. I forgot the bag so he lasted about 20 min then started to entertain himself by hitting me and putting his hands in my face and grabbing at me. really annoying at the time but if you think about it he has just missed my attention because I have been working more then normal as of late.

I decided not to try a strange primary for him as he did not do well in sacrament. we headed back to the Nichols house to wait for the open house to begin and max started asking questions about the church and if it was Jesus' church because it was strange that our church was Jesus' and this church was also. It turned into a good teaching moment as we talked about other churches and why everybody doesn't go to the same church. I sure was glad I had the answers. it was a little difficult to word it so a kid will understand but a good father son moment.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Saturday, May 23, 2009

the hipocracy of subaru

The problem I have with subaru is not the cars but a couple of ads they are running. In one ad they come right out and say "yes we are tree huggers" well thats all fine and dandy I think its great that a company would take it upon themselves to do positive things for the environment or at least minimize the negative impact or "carbon foot print".
However in one ad they tell a story about a guy who loved his old forester. He and a friend drive 2 cars for 2 days to get to a place called subaru heaven. Now subaru heaven is a nice place,rolling green hills, under a big beautiful tree where some genius decided that cars as good as subaru's should be parked to die. Because "you don't let your 300000+ mile forester be towed off by some wrecker to who knows where." Well let me tell you where. It goes to a wrecking yard where it can be salvaged for parts and then recycled. But I guess if your car is good enough you and a buddy should take 4 days off work to drive and burn fuel in 2 cars to park your too good for recycling subaru under a nice tree where it can leak fuel and oil and other chemicals into the roots of a tree that is clearly over 100 years old. I really don't know how they can call themselves responsible let alone tree huggers when this ad they are running just goes against everything that tree huggers stand for and I really don't know how a person who knows anything about environmental responsibility could feel good about just ditch their car under a tree in such a clean beautiful part of the world.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Freedom of Religion

I planned on doing some editing to my last post because I wasn't finished with it, but people have already read it so I decided to put the rest of my ideas in a second post. Freedom of religion has to be kept within some bounds. Now you may think this is not freedom but the same as God gives us freedom that freedom is within some boundaries. First off I think religion should be defined as a group with specific rituals and practices that are centered around worshiping God as the creator of all things. This is a short loose definition and needs work but the idea is it eliminates satan worship as a recognizable religion and removes it from political protection. There are other weird concepts out there that this also eliminates. I also think that as a recognizable religion it should not tear down other groups of people or religions or promote violence against others.
Once we clearly define religion we can define the freedoms it has. The state or government should not have any influence in what religion its citizens participate in and should not sponsor or show favoritism towards any specific religion. It should also not oppress any religious group or idea. I love the saying Freedom of Religion not Freedom from Religion. I think as a community we should embrace what common threads we share with those of other faiths and celebrate and support each other as it promotes piece and happiness in a community. This is why the displaying of the 10 commandments in state owned buildings and prayer in school and in congress should be allowed, it brings us together as a people. By tearing those things down we are separated and secluded. Our beliefs in God are pushed back to the point we will only openly discuss Him on Sunday in church. To me this is not freedom it is oppression. By allowing small groups and individuals to take away our rights to freedom is wrong. I am offended that the 10 commandments are not more prominently displayed where others can see and be reminded of the way we live our lives I am offended that prayer is not being said in schools. I am offended by those who are offended.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Seperation of church and state

I've been thinking about what this means to me. Some have really strong feelings about it and are seriously missing the mark I feel. Here is what I think. The state has no say how a church runs its self as long as the church as a hole does not promote breaking laws. The church does have some say in how the state runs as its members are citizens of the state and its ideals represent in some cases large numbers of its citizens, our government should run by the people and for the people. However the state does have the responsibility of running its self based on the wants of the general public as a majority as long as those wants do not oppress the rights of others and as long as those rights do not negatively effect the general good of the community.
I also believe that the government is owned by the people and is a servant of the people. All government buildings are owned by the people and should be used as the majority of the people want them used, for example if the majority wanted prayer in school the school should allow it to be done. If a minority or individual does not wish this to be the case they are not forced to participate. If the people wish to have things like the 10 commandments displayed inside or outside a government building then they should be. If an individual feels they do not want them to be there they need not look at them. There is no statement in the constitution that an individual has the right to not be offended and we need not run our government based on this idea. If there is sufficient numbers of people that want something removed they have a right to petition and if they meet the requirements that item should be placed up for a vote. I am tired of small groups of people taking away the rights of the majority and forcing their will on the rest, this kind of thing is what causes the fall of a nation.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Easter with max

In charlie and the chocolate factory the kid gets one candy bar for his birthday, he is so happy to have it and he shares with the family. Its sad and heart warming at the same time. Well for Easter we decided to bring it down a notch for several reasons, watching what we spend and lower the stress level were 2 of them. I was at wal mart on sat. Easter weekend and it was like Christmas eve (man i hate that place). I grabbed Max a chocolate rabbit and figure that's good enough for this year. Max loves loves loves chocolate. So Sunday morning no presents, no baskets and he didn't notice anything was different. Then HD hands him the choco rabbit and he says "whats this?" then requests help opening it. He bites the ears off and puts it back into the box and hands it to me and says "I don't want it, you can have it." Sad and heart warming at the same time, just like the movies. Ok it was more funny and weird at the same time but hey at least he wasn't whining about no basket full of peeps. (i miss my peeps)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Help Wanted

Small business owner seeks the aid of AIG executive to run company into the ground. Responsibilities would include filling out government bail out paper work, Liying about how the money is used and paying self and others large bonus'. Would need experience in miss use of tax payer money and self preservation at the expense of others. Would be under contract with the option of increasing pay if company tanks within the first year of hire. Benefits include large portion of the country hating your guts and small groups picketing outside your large estate, could also have the option of taking a large severance package once company is able to collapse on its own. Early retirement with excessive dividends based on how far into the red you can get the company.
Look forward to working with you and giving each other huge amounts of other peoples money which will be vastly undeserved.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

untitled

once again not much to bloggity about. I try to do an update on Sundays as its the day for no rc and I find myself on the computer running out of places to go. and since homestarrunner doesn't do a new comic that often anymore I do a lot of solitaire. We are now on the 1 o'clock church and I have elders quorum presidency meeting in the morning so that leaves me dressed in church clothes more then I care to be.
Max is no longer on the growth shots so he has been in a better mood and we all enjoy that. He has been asking for a puppy or a kitty so he got some fish for his birthday. the nice thing is no hair or poop in places it shouldn't be. he named them blah blah and blue in the canoe. he likes to put toys in with them so they don't get bored.
HD has been sick for 2 weeks with a really weird sickness. she will feel good and get out and about then feel terrible the next day. she has also had a bad cough with it and it keeps her up at night. not much fun but we hope it is at the end of it. luckily max and I have not picked it up. she is pretty good at not coughing on stuff and keeping things clean. anyway I know I tend to run long so I'll wrap it up.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How to tell if your old

I'm old. If your older then me then your old too. If you undo your pants while sitting to be more comfortable then...your old...and probably fat, You hurt all the time, You need hearing aids, You worry about retirement, Have grey hair, Have reduced your dreams of owning really cool cars to a small hobby that fits on a desk in your basement...well then...your old. at least I'm not living in a van down by the river. if you know what a van down by the river is...your old. I remember talking to people who were 35 and thinking man that guy is old. I figured the world would end before I hit 35. I am a little surprised at how much medicine I own. especially tubes of rub on pain relievers. I picked up a new trick from someone older then me the other day, I use 3 Advil and 1 excedrin, its called a cocktail and it works really well, but it identifies me as old. Just the fact that we were talking about effective pain relievers means we're old. I wont mention her name Pam just in case she isn't thinking that she is old. At least I feel like I have lost the need to impress people and am happy to make due with what I have- old truck, old car, old house- its all good and old.
I don't mind being old. I still like to do stuff. I figured getting old meant not doing anything. except getting excited about touring an old air craft carrier or other old guy stuff. I thought I would be a better speller by now, but no its worse, and my signature is worse then it was when I was in fifth grade.
Thank goodness I had a pimple the other day or else I would really be feeling old. I decided since it was in such a great spot (center of my forehead) I would pick at it till it was nice and red then celebrate and get my picture taken for my drivers license so I could keep that memory with me for years to come. I also tucked my chin into my neck to show off as many chins as I could. I look awesome. good times
My family has a tradition, they call as early as possible on your birthday, its like a race to see who was first. when you answer the phone you get a very excited "happy birthday" and then quickly followed by "was I first?". this tradition apparently ends at 34 because I guess they figure you need your sleep. This year most of my siblings called while I was at the afternoon movie, THATS RIGHT I GO TO MOVIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, I'M OLD!!
well I better wrap this up this "old" chit chat is getting old.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

In the which I Propose

After Heidi and I had dated for a couple weeks or maybe one I realized she was the one I was going to marry. She had not come to this conclusion yet and some of my talk Freaked her out. After all it had only been a couple of weeks or maybe one. At one point she faked asleep so I would stop talking. I wasn't trying to push her, I was just excited about it. I didn't care how long it took, just as long as it ..."took". Any way a couple months go by and she is really starting to feel like I'm a bit marriage happy. She likes hanging out and dating but decides it's time to ditch me. She prays to make sure its right and comes to the realization she was going to marry me. This makes her cry. Not because she didn't like me, she just had other plans. She was having a ton of fun living on her own and may have felt that getting married may hinder that. Also this would make the Mission thing difficult. Any way we go ahead and pick out the ring some time later. She was on a trip to Georgia when it was finished. I picked it up and grabbed a couple of her friends and head up to Highland to pick her up after she got back. We had made plans to go to Lagoon and I had made plans to get a ring on her finger. I told her friends my plan and they were prepping me on what to say. Or at least asking me to plan it out in advance, as this was not something to just wing. (good idea) So we walk into Lagoon and Heidi askes what ride we wanted to go on first and I suggest the Ferris wheel. She reluctantly agrees all the while wondering what kind of a guy (weird) was I. I really don't like stuff in my pockets and for some reason I kept the ring in its case, it felt as weird as it looked, so I figured lets get down to business and get the ring case out of my pocket. We head on up and HD's friends wait for the next car. Actually they ask the ride operator to hold the ride when we get to the top. I didn't know this was the cue so I was a little surprised when it came to a stop. I got really nervous and hoped that my little speech would measure up to what she had imagined a proposal would sound like. I got down on one knee. I think the obnoxious kid in the next car felt it was his cue to be an idiot and yell stuff. Man you never have a pellet gun when you need one. Well she clapped her hands together and I got a big hug and a kiss. As we rode around she was showing the people in line her ring and her friends jumped up and down and screamed. It was great fun. She kept looking at the ring all day and showing her friends what it looked like in different lighting. good times. good times. credit to Leah for the good times quote.

The First Time Heidi and I Met

The story where HD and I met at the Denny's is not the first time we met. The truth is we met about 9 months earlier. It was a big ska thing in Parowan. I went to see some friends band play. I think at the time I knew kids from 3 of the bands that were playing. I was skankin around by myself because most of the people I knew were on or back stage. Then three girls come up to me, no doubt drawn by my sweet "pickin up change" move. They had a hot front girl and a couple that I was not interested in at all. Now I've seen this move before, its called the bait and switch. Here is how it works. The hot front girl has a couple friends that no one will hang out with. She has a guy she wants some time with, so she finds other guys and gets a group thing going. She sticks close to the guy she is interested in but keeps flirting with the others to keep their attention all the while pulling in the friend she intends to set you up with. Then once the not as attractive friend is comfortable talking and dancing next to you the hot girl and her guy move away while no one is looking. This was done to me once and it ticked me off. Needles to say I was not going to let it happen again. Here is how I spotted what was coming 1 hot girl with 2 less attractive friends (I didn't say un attractive). This is a key give away. Now obviously a hot girl can have less attractive friends but usually they will be capable of getting a guy on their own. This was not the case here, or at least thats what I suspected. The other give away was the look in one of the other girls eyes. It made me shutter. Now I'm not trying to be rude or anything just telling the truth about what I thought was happening. Well I recognized this scam at once and moved on. I think I hurt Heidi's feelings because she is an angel and would never do anything like that and was confused by my lack of interest when she used her most interesting smile, but at the time thats the feeling I got about what was happening. The relationship I had just started lasted 9 months and was well... crappy. Not all of it of course but enough of it. Long story short, had I played my cards differently that night I could have avoided a bad relationship and been married to my sweet love even earlier. Oh well live and learn I guess.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Max kicked my butt

Well it would have been my butt but unfortunately I was facing the wrong direction. Here's what happened. I was helping Max get ready for church. I noticed he needed his ears cleaned out and I figured I would do it the way my mom always did it for us growing up. I got some cotton swabs and a wash cloth and the hydrogen peroxide. Max asked if that was for me. pointing to the bottle. I said no I was going to use it in his ears. This was the turning point. He went berzerker on me, running back and forth on the couch trying to get away, hitting and yelling about how it would sting. Finally I got a hold of both arms and was holding him so I could talk to him. We were eye to eye with him standing on the couch. I was laughing a bit cuz it was a such an extreme reaction. I tried to calmly explain that it wouldn't sting, that was alcohol. So he yells at the top of his lungs "YOU ARE LYING, I'M GONNA KICK YOU!" My reaction was too slow. This kid has power and speed. I was down for the count. HD came in a moment later to see what the ruckus was about and found me incapacitated. It took about 25 min to get back to moving semi normal and I got dressed for church and headed out the door. The belt and church seats proved to be too much and I was back home just after sacrament meeting. I taught him it was ok to kick someone there if they were trying to kidnap him. I'm fine with kids taking naps but thats not what I was forcing him to do so I was a bit upset about it. This was officially the hardest hit I have ever taken and hope to not repeat it any time soon slash ever.

I got squat to blog about

Its been a month since I blogged the crap out of it. I don't have much to blog about. I come up with stuff every once in a while but never get it on here. I figured I would just start with random whatevers and it may turn into something. HD is in good spirits. but she is just a really good person so I guess that's only natural. I remember the day I met her (for the second time. a story for another blogging) My buddy Jeremy and I were hanging out at the Denny's in Cedar talking about how bad our previous relationships had been, just tryin to one up each other. Our friend Todd was there as well but he was keeping quite for the most part. I had a good view of the cash register and noticed people as they came to pay. I look up and see this really smokin blond girl with long curly hair and electric eyes. I elbow Jeremy to check her out. And if I point her out its easy to establish later who say her first. Well he was already looking at her. (oh great) Then he motions for her to come over. (oh great he knows her! he obviously has dibs) She walks over to say hi and Jeremy introduces her to me. "oh" she says "you must be Little J." (man this is not going well.) During the coarse of the conversation I learn Tall J dated her room mate. (sweet! she is off limits to him.) I decide to try and talk her into staying and hanging out with us as she just told us she was heading home. (from a date) I try to talk her into ditching him but she is an angel and wouldn't do it.
Well a day goes by and we end up at the dance up at the institute. They have one every friday. The school was also having a dance so it wasn't as hoppin as normal at the ol institute. Tall J says "hey we're headin over to the school lets go." I had just spotted HD walking in a moment before and was trying to keep an eye on where she was so I could ask her to dance. So I tell him no thanks and walk off. I circled that dance floor and crused the hall like a shark for 20-30 min and can't find her. I decide to head on up to the school.
I find Tall J and Tilt and we danced like idiots. No seriously idiots. We were showing off these moves we learned from Beavis and Butt head and a couple ska videos we watched like 3 times a day. We had a good size crowed watching and laughing so it just fed the beast and it continued to get dumber. After we had a good sweat Tall J wanders off. Unknown to me he spots HD and goes over and dances by her. He was asking if she had spotted any hot guys at which she responds yeah, your room mate. Well Jeremy of coarse excuses himself as tactfully as he can. (he has no tact, which is probably why we get along so well.) And comes to find me. "hey, guess who thinks your hot?" I'm always excited to hear someone thinks I'm hot so naturally I'm like "who?" Jeremy does a dramatic pause for effect then replies "Heidi" I am on cloud nine. of course Jeremy knows this because I had been asking about her. "where is she?" (man I'm excited) "No no no! you can't go over now you gotta wait 3 days." We had watched Swingers a bunch of times, and well, it was what we thought to be the very definition of cool. So naturally we try to apply the rules of cool to ourselves. Just for the record I wasn't really caring about cool at the moment and I was betting she had not seen Swingers and wouldn't know the rules anyway. Well I bugged the crud out of Tall J for the next three days. Finally he agrees to take me over there. So that night we all load up in my ol jimmy, which had a 4" lift and 35" tires at the time, and head for Denny's with a planned stop at Heidi's on the way. He directs me to a small apartment complex and points out the door. I jump out of the truck and head on up. I knock and no answer. I waited an extra minute just in case. Well with a heavy heart I head back to the truck and jump in and we head for Denny's. We hung out there with our friend Megan for a couple hours consuming cokes and fries and chatting. Then we decide to head on back to our place and watch a movie. Pretty standard night for us. But now I know where Heidi lives and I'm the driver so we make and unscheduled stop back at Heidi's. I go knock on the door and she answered this time. Normally I would have been a little nervous cuz man she is a good lookin girl, but I was just so excited to see her again. I say "hey we stopped by to see if you wanted to go to Denny's..." she cuts me off and says "ok, can my friend come?" I was about to say "...earlier, but you weren't home." but instead I say "sure." I jump in the truck and inform Jeremy we are going back to Denny's, he was not excited at all. After Heidi and Tammy grab their coats they jump in the truck and off we go to Denny's for another couple hours. Luckily Jeremy and I had plenty of caffeine and sugar in our systems and we were on our game for funny. Those girls laughed and laughed. There is still a running joke from that night "I'm green!" good times. I think that night is when I really started to notice her smile. Her eyes excited me and her smile made me feel at peace.
Heidi and I ended up together every day from then until she went to Georgia to see her Grandmother and other family. We got married after only knowing each other for 5 months. She used to make fun of people who did stuff like that.
They other day HD says to me "ya know, I think I was a rebound for you and you just got lucky." I know I got lucky but I'm not sure she was a rebound. either way its been a good 10 years. we've had ups and downs but I can't imagine being any happier then I am. I'm glad I found her.
Well any way the purpose of this story is obviously that I am excited about the new Denny's they just opened up down the street. I'm gonna get me a grand slam breakfast. I wonder if Even works there? He was always our waiter and it just wouldn't be the same with out him. On second thought, maybe I'll just skip it. The food isn't that good anyway.