Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How to tell if your old

I'm old. If your older then me then your old too. If you undo your pants while sitting to be more comfortable then...your old...and probably fat, You hurt all the time, You need hearing aids, You worry about retirement, Have grey hair, Have reduced your dreams of owning really cool cars to a small hobby that fits on a desk in your basement...well then...your old. at least I'm not living in a van down by the river. if you know what a van down by the river is...your old. I remember talking to people who were 35 and thinking man that guy is old. I figured the world would end before I hit 35. I am a little surprised at how much medicine I own. especially tubes of rub on pain relievers. I picked up a new trick from someone older then me the other day, I use 3 Advil and 1 excedrin, its called a cocktail and it works really well, but it identifies me as old. Just the fact that we were talking about effective pain relievers means we're old. I wont mention her name Pam just in case she isn't thinking that she is old. At least I feel like I have lost the need to impress people and am happy to make due with what I have- old truck, old car, old house- its all good and old.
I don't mind being old. I still like to do stuff. I figured getting old meant not doing anything. except getting excited about touring an old air craft carrier or other old guy stuff. I thought I would be a better speller by now, but no its worse, and my signature is worse then it was when I was in fifth grade.
Thank goodness I had a pimple the other day or else I would really be feeling old. I decided since it was in such a great spot (center of my forehead) I would pick at it till it was nice and red then celebrate and get my picture taken for my drivers license so I could keep that memory with me for years to come. I also tucked my chin into my neck to show off as many chins as I could. I look awesome. good times
My family has a tradition, they call as early as possible on your birthday, its like a race to see who was first. when you answer the phone you get a very excited "happy birthday" and then quickly followed by "was I first?". this tradition apparently ends at 34 because I guess they figure you need your sleep. This year most of my siblings called while I was at the afternoon movie, THATS RIGHT I GO TO MOVIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, I'M OLD!!
well I better wrap this up this "old" chit chat is getting old.

7 comments:

Pam said...

Ha ha! I was reading the 3 advil part and thinking "Huh . . .I do that." Funny! I pretty much laughed my head off while reading. I would have been rolling on the floor laughing, but I might not have been able to get up again, since apparently I'm OLD!

A snippet from the Vincents said...

I have to unbutton my pants when I sit down to eat too.

Kristi said...

It was you who changed the tradition of being the first to call on birthdays. You said to me last year you want to be the last one to wish a happy birthday. I took that as a hint- don't call early! Sorry that you're old now.

Sami Antha said...

I was reading this and thinking the whole time, "man he's using 'your' when he should be using 'you're'"
But I guess you knew and didn't care, haha.
Sorry I didn't call on your b-day. Only Caleb's cell phone has long distance and I never have it.
I miss you guys! *tear*

Shelly said...

Oh my gosh, movies in the afternoon! You are OLD! I will offer condolences instead of a happy birthday!

Amanda and Jeremy said...

hey happy belated birthday. now we can read your blog!!

Craig said...

I was so glad you put more posts on here...until I failed all of the getting old tests. I better stop typing, all this typing is giving me carpal tunnel and arthritis. I better go take more pain medicine.