Sunday, December 27, 2009

alien super computer

alien space craft have been spotted more and more frequently lately. they have become more bold in their appearances as well, some sitings lasting as long as 30 min or more. bright lights flying slowly in tight formations over heavily populated areas have been filmed from multiple directions. local law enforcement have taken hundreds of reports from eye witnesses. these ships have been witnessed by thousands of people in large cities all over the world. but now the aliens have taken it one step further by installing at least one super computer here on earth, there may be more it is hard to say for sure as the information is still being gathered.
we do know it weighs about ten pounds and is constructed of some type of soft, almost fatty like material, it jiggles when shaken. this super computer uses a human body as a battery, and as if this sick display of total disregard for human life was not enough, the human battery is still conscious. it is carried by the human host where ever he goes. it is a constant burden and bulges from the belly of the man it was implanted in. the super computers purpose is as yet unknown.
the implant was done late at night while the man slept, there is no visible scaring or evidence of the mysterious surgery. the man does feel some tightness and muscle soreness on the right side just under the ribs. the biggest evidence is the obvious bulge. the man simply went to sleep on Christmas eve and woke on Christmas day with this hideous protrusion just above his belt.
how do we know so much about these events? well...that man is me. i will keep you up to date as i try to discover more about this super computer in my gut and why i was chosen to carry this burden. it saddens me to not be able to see my toes but with the help of family and friends i hope to uncover the mystery of the implant and may even attempt to have it removed.

2 comments:

Craig Christiansen said...

Holy canoli. I honestly thought this post was about me'self. Does your supercomputer spill out over your belt when you're not looking and someone snaps a photo?

Urmston Mom said...

THE REMOVAL OF SAID SUPERCOMPUTER IS A LONG AND ARDUOUS PROCESS. CAN YOU JUST EMBRACE IT AS A NEW YOU?