I am Magic

Yes it is true I am magic. I found out yesterday when I bought my magic floating ball. I was walking through the devils house, Walmart, checking out his goods at reasonable prices when I passed the Fushigi magic floating ball. It called to me. I ignored it. It beckoned me. I resisted. It's magic glowed from the box and it seemed to come alive, it begged me. I gave in. The magic on the box was so magical I had to pick it up. It reeked of magic. It was mesmerizing, A magic man on the box with a ponytail said it would float in mid air, it was beautiful and magnificent and only 9.98. A yellow smiling little devil confirmed the low low price. How could I put the Fushigi back on the shelf? It had called to me and I answered. The power of the Magic Fushigi would be mine, and at such a reasonable price too. I glowed as I wandered through the rest of the store or should I say H-E Double Hockey Sticks. I yearned for check out. Finally we selected a line, not too short but it had promise of speed. The heavily makeuped woman in front of us kept her visit with the neighbor she saw everyday, that happened to be passing by, to under ten minutes and it was our turn to convey our goods on the black belt and pay the man at the machine. I distracted him with chit chat about his oddly spelled name (Jerremy) so he wouldn't hear the Fushigi Magic ball call to him. Just in case it was a fickle Fushigi. Once we were home I opened it with great anticipation, it just sat there in my had, beautiful but not floating. I looked at the box again, the magic was still there printed in bright clear colors, the man with a pony tail, the Fushigi floating in front of him. Why was my Fushigi not floating?! I raced to the internet (the source of all truth and enlightenment) and searched. I found the magic pony tailed man doing amazing magic, he trained me as I watched and soon I was doing magic with my little f-ball. That's internet lingo for Magic Floating Fushigi Ball. It magically floated from one side of my hand to the other, it floated up my arm and back down. It magically floated off my hand to the floor with a loud thud, then magically raced at my wife's cheerio cabinet, no we don't keep Cheerios in it, we keep fragile things that look pretty, enclosed in glass so everybody in our bedroom can enjoy them. The Fushigi threatened to break our fragile nick knacks and I was banned from the bedroom with my Fushigi. And told to only do magic in the basement. The Fushigi wouldn't hear of it. Once out of eye sight of the nick knack guardian I was doing magic again. The Fushigi floated around my hand until I was in the kitchen where it again magically floated to the floor, this time on wood so it announced its magic properties with authority as it slammed to the floor. After several more magic floatings to the floor I became weary of the magic, it can really wear you out. I looked at my receipt and discovered that I had been charged 19.98 for my magic f-ball! what the crap was this magic? the magic price switch. I looked at the box, the magic was gone, there was just some nerd with a pony tail holding a ball on the tips of his fingers and on my desk sat a 20 dollar plastic ball. I guess it wasn't magic at all it was just me dropping the f-ball several times and no one was impressed.