Step into my office

Thank you for coming in today. I have been reviewing your record and found a few things that concerned me. First since your position was created you have not really accomplished much for us here and in fact have been creating more work for others on the team. This is not what we had in mind when we brought you on. On further review it seems you may have also been using your position and influence to advance the careers and wealth of a selected few by means of misleading and false information. It has also been brought to my attention that you have been causing a serious division amongst the work force which has lead to a severe drop in productivity and in some cases actual physical altercations.

So it is my duty to inform you that your position has been dissolved and your services are no longer needed. Security will escort you to your desk where you may collect your Nobel Peace Prize, The keys to your beach front home and any other personal belongings. Good luck to you Mr Global Warming and remember to bundle up because its FREAKING COLD OUT!