How to tell if your old

I'm old. If your older then me then your old too. If you undo your pants while sitting to be more comfortable then...your old...and probably fat, You hurt all the time, You need hearing aids, You worry about retirement, Have grey hair, Have reduced your dreams of owning really cool cars to a small hobby that fits on a desk in your basement...well then...your old. at least I'm not living in a van down by the river. if you know what a van down by the river is...your old. I remember talking to people who were 35 and thinking man that guy is old. I figured the world would end before I hit 35. I am a little surprised at how much medicine I own. especially tubes of rub on pain relievers. I picked up a new trick from someone older then me the other day, I use 3 Advil and 1 excedrin, its called a cocktail and it works really well, but it identifies me as old. Just the fact that we were talking about effective pain relievers means we're old. I wont mention her name Pam just in case she isn't thinking that she is old. At least I feel like I have lost the need to impress people and am happy to make due with what I have- old truck, old car, old house- its all good and old.
I don't mind being old. I still like to do stuff. I figured getting old meant not doing anything. except getting excited about touring an old air craft carrier or other old guy stuff. I thought I would be a better speller by now, but no its worse, and my signature is worse then it was when I was in fifth grade.
Thank goodness I had a pimple the other day or else I would really be feeling old. I decided since it was in such a great spot (center of my forehead) I would pick at it till it was nice and red then celebrate and get my picture taken for my drivers license so I could keep that memory with me for years to come. I also tucked my chin into my neck to show off as many chins as I could. I look awesome. good times
My family has a tradition, they call as early as possible on your birthday, its like a race to see who was first. when you answer the phone you get a very excited "happy birthday" and then quickly followed by "was I first?". this tradition apparently ends at 34 because I guess they figure you need your sleep. This year most of my siblings called while I was at the afternoon movie, THATS RIGHT I GO TO MOVIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, I'M OLD!!
well I better wrap this up this "old" chit chat is getting old.

In the which I Propose

After Heidi and I had dated for a couple weeks or maybe one I realized she was the one I was going to marry. She had not come to this conclusion yet and some of my talk Freaked her out. After all it had only been a couple of weeks or maybe one. At one point she faked asleep so I would stop talking. I wasn't trying to push her, I was just excited about it. I didn't care how long it took, just as long as it ..."took". Any way a couple months go by and she is really starting to feel like I'm a bit marriage happy. She likes hanging out and dating but decides it's time to ditch me. She prays to make sure its right and comes to the realization she was going to marry me. This makes her cry. Not because she didn't like me, she just had other plans. She was having a ton of fun living on her own and may have felt that getting married may hinder that. Also this would make the Mission thing difficult. Any way we go ahead and pick out the ring some time later. She was on a trip to Georgia when it was finished. I picked it up and grabbed a couple of her friends and head up to Highland to pick her up after she got back. We had made plans to go to Lagoon and I had made plans to get a ring on her finger. I told her friends my plan and they were prepping me on what to say. Or at least asking me to plan it out in advance, as this was not something to just wing. (good idea) So we walk into Lagoon and Heidi askes what ride we wanted to go on first and I suggest the Ferris wheel. She reluctantly agrees all the while wondering what kind of a guy (weird) was I. I really don't like stuff in my pockets and for some reason I kept the ring in its case, it felt as weird as it looked, so I figured lets get down to business and get the ring case out of my pocket. We head on up and HD's friends wait for the next car. Actually they ask the ride operator to hold the ride when we get to the top. I didn't know this was the cue so I was a little surprised when it came to a stop. I got really nervous and hoped that my little speech would measure up to what she had imagined a proposal would sound like. I got down on one knee. I think the obnoxious kid in the next car felt it was his cue to be an idiot and yell stuff. Man you never have a pellet gun when you need one. Well she clapped her hands together and I got a big hug and a kiss. As we rode around she was showing the people in line her ring and her friends jumped up and down and screamed. It was great fun. She kept looking at the ring all day and showing her friends what it looked like in different lighting. good times. good times. credit to Leah for the good times quote.

The First Time Heidi and I Met

The story where HD and I met at the Denny's is not the first time we met. The truth is we met about 9 months earlier. It was a big ska thing in Parowan. I went to see some friends band play. I think at the time I knew kids from 3 of the bands that were playing. I was skankin around by myself because most of the people I knew were on or back stage. Then three girls come up to me, no doubt drawn by my sweet "pickin up change" move. They had a hot front girl and a couple that I was not interested in at all. Now I've seen this move before, its called the bait and switch. Here is how it works. The hot front girl has a couple friends that no one will hang out with. She has a guy she wants some time with, so she finds other guys and gets a group thing going. She sticks close to the guy she is interested in but keeps flirting with the others to keep their attention all the while pulling in the friend she intends to set you up with. Then once the not as attractive friend is comfortable talking and dancing next to you the hot girl and her guy move away while no one is looking. This was done to me once and it ticked me off. Needles to say I was not going to let it happen again. Here is how I spotted what was coming 1 hot girl with 2 less attractive friends (I didn't say un attractive). This is a key give away. Now obviously a hot girl can have less attractive friends but usually they will be capable of getting a guy on their own. This was not the case here, or at least thats what I suspected. The other give away was the look in one of the other girls eyes. It made me shutter. Now I'm not trying to be rude or anything just telling the truth about what I thought was happening. Well I recognized this scam at once and moved on. I think I hurt Heidi's feelings because she is an angel and would never do anything like that and was confused by my lack of interest when she used her most interesting smile, but at the time thats the feeling I got about what was happening. The relationship I had just started lasted 9 months and was well... crappy. Not all of it of course but enough of it. Long story short, had I played my cards differently that night I could have avoided a bad relationship and been married to my sweet love even earlier. Oh well live and learn I guess.