Help Wanted

Small business owner seeks the aid of AIG executive to run company into the ground. Responsibilities would include filling out government bail out paper work, Liying about how the money is used and paying self and others large bonus'. Would need experience in miss use of tax payer money and self preservation at the expense of others. Would be under contract with the option of increasing pay if company tanks within the first year of hire. Benefits include large portion of the country hating your guts and small groups picketing outside your large estate, could also have the option of taking a large severance package once company is able to collapse on its own. Early retirement with excessive dividends based on how far into the red you can get the company.
Look forward to working with you and giving each other huge amounts of other peoples money which will be vastly undeserved.

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once again not much to bloggity about. I try to do an update on Sundays as its the day for no rc and I find myself on the computer running out of places to go. and since homestarrunner doesn't do a new comic that often anymore I do a lot of solitaire. We are now on the 1 o'clock church and I have elders quorum presidency meeting in the morning so that leaves me dressed in church clothes more then I care to be.
Max is no longer on the growth shots so he has been in a better mood and we all enjoy that. He has been asking for a puppy or a kitty so he got some fish for his birthday. the nice thing is no hair or poop in places it shouldn't be. he named them blah blah and blue in the canoe. he likes to put toys in with them so they don't get bored.
HD has been sick for 2 weeks with a really weird sickness. she will feel good and get out and about then feel terrible the next day. she has also had a bad cough with it and it keeps her up at night. not much fun but we hope it is at the end of it. luckily max and I have not picked it up. she is pretty good at not coughing on stuff and keeping things clean. anyway I know I tend to run long so I'll wrap it up.

How to tell if your old

I'm old. If your older then me then your old too. If you undo your pants while sitting to be more comfortable then...your old...and probably fat, You hurt all the time, You need hearing aids, You worry about retirement, Have grey hair, Have reduced your dreams of owning really cool cars to a small hobby that fits on a desk in your basement...well then...your old. at least I'm not living in a van down by the river. if you know what a van down by the river is...your old. I remember talking to people who were 35 and thinking man that guy is old. I figured the world would end before I hit 35. I am a little surprised at how much medicine I own. especially tubes of rub on pain relievers. I picked up a new trick from someone older then me the other day, I use 3 Advil and 1 excedrin, its called a cocktail and it works really well, but it identifies me as old. Just the fact that we were talking about effective pain relievers means we're old. I wont mention her name Pam just in case she isn't thinking that she is old. At least I feel like I have lost the need to impress people and am happy to make due with what I have- old truck, old car, old house- its all good and old.
I don't mind being old. I still like to do stuff. I figured getting old meant not doing anything. except getting excited about touring an old air craft carrier or other old guy stuff. I thought I would be a better speller by now, but no its worse, and my signature is worse then it was when I was in fifth grade.
Thank goodness I had a pimple the other day or else I would really be feeling old. I decided since it was in such a great spot (center of my forehead) I would pick at it till it was nice and red then celebrate and get my picture taken for my drivers license so I could keep that memory with me for years to come. I also tucked my chin into my neck to show off as many chins as I could. I look awesome. good times
My family has a tradition, they call as early as possible on your birthday, its like a race to see who was first. when you answer the phone you get a very excited "happy birthday" and then quickly followed by "was I first?". this tradition apparently ends at 34 because I guess they figure you need your sleep. This year most of my siblings called while I was at the afternoon movie, THATS RIGHT I GO TO MOVIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, I'M OLD!!
well I better wrap this up this "old" chit chat is getting old.

In the which I Propose

After Heidi and I had dated for a couple weeks or maybe one I realized she was the one I was going to marry. She had not come to this conclusion yet and some of my talk Freaked her out. After all it had only been a couple of weeks or maybe one. At one point she faked asleep so I would stop talking. I wasn't trying to push her, I was just excited about it. I didn't care how long it took, just as long as it ..."took". Any way a couple months go by and she is really starting to feel like I'm a bit marriage happy. She likes hanging out and dating but decides it's time to ditch me. She prays to make sure its right and comes to the realization she was going to marry me. This makes her cry. Not because she didn't like me, she just had other plans. She was having a ton of fun living on her own and may have felt that getting married may hinder that. Also this would make the Mission thing difficult. Any way we go ahead and pick out the ring some time later. She was on a trip to Georgia when it was finished. I picked it up and grabbed a couple of her friends and head up to Highland to pick her up after she got back. We had made plans to go to Lagoon and I had made plans to get a ring on her finger. I told her friends my plan and they were prepping me on what to say. Or at least asking me to plan it out in advance, as this was not something to just wing. (good idea) So we walk into Lagoon and Heidi askes what ride we wanted to go on first and I suggest the Ferris wheel. She reluctantly agrees all the while wondering what kind of a guy (weird) was I. I really don't like stuff in my pockets and for some reason I kept the ring in its case, it felt as weird as it looked, so I figured lets get down to business and get the ring case out of my pocket. We head on up and HD's friends wait for the next car. Actually they ask the ride operator to hold the ride when we get to the top. I didn't know this was the cue so I was a little surprised when it came to a stop. I got really nervous and hoped that my little speech would measure up to what she had imagined a proposal would sound like. I got down on one knee. I think the obnoxious kid in the next car felt it was his cue to be an idiot and yell stuff. Man you never have a pellet gun when you need one. Well she clapped her hands together and I got a big hug and a kiss. As we rode around she was showing the people in line her ring and her friends jumped up and down and screamed. It was great fun. She kept looking at the ring all day and showing her friends what it looked like in different lighting. good times. good times. credit to Leah for the good times quote.

The First Time Heidi and I Met

The story where HD and I met at the Denny's is not the first time we met. The truth is we met about 9 months earlier. It was a big ska thing in Parowan. I went to see some friends band play. I think at the time I knew kids from 3 of the bands that were playing. I was skankin around by myself because most of the people I knew were on or back stage. Then three girls come up to me, no doubt drawn by my sweet "pickin up change" move. They had a hot front girl and a couple that I was not interested in at all. Now I've seen this move before, its called the bait and switch. Here is how it works. The hot front girl has a couple friends that no one will hang out with. She has a guy she wants some time with, so she finds other guys and gets a group thing going. She sticks close to the guy she is interested in but keeps flirting with the others to keep their attention all the while pulling in the friend she intends to set you up with. Then once the not as attractive friend is comfortable talking and dancing next to you the hot girl and her guy move away while no one is looking. This was done to me once and it ticked me off. Needles to say I was not going to let it happen again. Here is how I spotted what was coming 1 hot girl with 2 less attractive friends (I didn't say un attractive). This is a key give away. Now obviously a hot girl can have less attractive friends but usually they will be capable of getting a guy on their own. This was not the case here, or at least thats what I suspected. The other give away was the look in one of the other girls eyes. It made me shutter. Now I'm not trying to be rude or anything just telling the truth about what I thought was happening. Well I recognized this scam at once and moved on. I think I hurt Heidi's feelings because she is an angel and would never do anything like that and was confused by my lack of interest when she used her most interesting smile, but at the time thats the feeling I got about what was happening. The relationship I had just started lasted 9 months and was well... crappy. Not all of it of course but enough of it. Long story short, had I played my cards differently that night I could have avoided a bad relationship and been married to my sweet love even earlier. Oh well live and learn I guess.

Max kicked my butt

Well it would have been my butt but unfortunately I was facing the wrong direction. Here's what happened. I was helping Max get ready for church. I noticed he needed his ears cleaned out and I figured I would do it the way my mom always did it for us growing up. I got some cotton swabs and a wash cloth and the hydrogen peroxide. Max asked if that was for me. pointing to the bottle. I said no I was going to use it in his ears. This was the turning point. He went berzerker on me, running back and forth on the couch trying to get away, hitting and yelling about how it would sting. Finally I got a hold of both arms and was holding him so I could talk to him. We were eye to eye with him standing on the couch. I was laughing a bit cuz it was a such an extreme reaction. I tried to calmly explain that it wouldn't sting, that was alcohol. So he yells at the top of his lungs "YOU ARE LYING, I'M GONNA KICK YOU!" My reaction was too slow. This kid has power and speed. I was down for the count. HD came in a moment later to see what the ruckus was about and found me incapacitated. It took about 25 min to get back to moving semi normal and I got dressed for church and headed out the door. The belt and church seats proved to be too much and I was back home just after sacrament meeting. I taught him it was ok to kick someone there if they were trying to kidnap him. I'm fine with kids taking naps but thats not what I was forcing him to do so I was a bit upset about it. This was officially the hardest hit I have ever taken and hope to not repeat it any time soon slash ever.

I got squat to blog about

Its been a month since I blogged the crap out of it. I don't have much to blog about. I come up with stuff every once in a while but never get it on here. I figured I would just start with random whatevers and it may turn into something. HD is in good spirits. but she is just a really good person so I guess that's only natural. I remember the day I met her (for the second time. a story for another blogging) My buddy Jeremy and I were hanging out at the Denny's in Cedar talking about how bad our previous relationships had been, just tryin to one up each other. Our friend Todd was there as well but he was keeping quite for the most part. I had a good view of the cash register and noticed people as they came to pay. I look up and see this really smokin blond girl with long curly hair and electric eyes. I elbow Jeremy to check her out. And if I point her out its easy to establish later who say her first. Well he was already looking at her. (oh great) Then he motions for her to come over. (oh great he knows her! he obviously has dibs) She walks over to say hi and Jeremy introduces her to me. "oh" she says "you must be Little J." (man this is not going well.) During the coarse of the conversation I learn Tall J dated her room mate. (sweet! she is off limits to him.) I decide to try and talk her into staying and hanging out with us as she just told us she was heading home. (from a date) I try to talk her into ditching him but she is an angel and wouldn't do it.
Well a day goes by and we end up at the dance up at the institute. They have one every friday. The school was also having a dance so it wasn't as hoppin as normal at the ol institute. Tall J says "hey we're headin over to the school lets go." I had just spotted HD walking in a moment before and was trying to keep an eye on where she was so I could ask her to dance. So I tell him no thanks and walk off. I circled that dance floor and crused the hall like a shark for 20-30 min and can't find her. I decide to head on up to the school.
I find Tall J and Tilt and we danced like idiots. No seriously idiots. We were showing off these moves we learned from Beavis and Butt head and a couple ska videos we watched like 3 times a day. We had a good size crowed watching and laughing so it just fed the beast and it continued to get dumber. After we had a good sweat Tall J wanders off. Unknown to me he spots HD and goes over and dances by her. He was asking if she had spotted any hot guys at which she responds yeah, your room mate. Well Jeremy of coarse excuses himself as tactfully as he can. (he has no tact, which is probably why we get along so well.) And comes to find me. "hey, guess who thinks your hot?" I'm always excited to hear someone thinks I'm hot so naturally I'm like "who?" Jeremy does a dramatic pause for effect then replies "Heidi" I am on cloud nine. of course Jeremy knows this because I had been asking about her. "where is she?" (man I'm excited) "No no no! you can't go over now you gotta wait 3 days." We had watched Swingers a bunch of times, and well, it was what we thought to be the very definition of cool. So naturally we try to apply the rules of cool to ourselves. Just for the record I wasn't really caring about cool at the moment and I was betting she had not seen Swingers and wouldn't know the rules anyway. Well I bugged the crud out of Tall J for the next three days. Finally he agrees to take me over there. So that night we all load up in my ol jimmy, which had a 4" lift and 35" tires at the time, and head for Denny's with a planned stop at Heidi's on the way. He directs me to a small apartment complex and points out the door. I jump out of the truck and head on up. I knock and no answer. I waited an extra minute just in case. Well with a heavy heart I head back to the truck and jump in and we head for Denny's. We hung out there with our friend Megan for a couple hours consuming cokes and fries and chatting. Then we decide to head on back to our place and watch a movie. Pretty standard night for us. But now I know where Heidi lives and I'm the driver so we make and unscheduled stop back at Heidi's. I go knock on the door and she answered this time. Normally I would have been a little nervous cuz man she is a good lookin girl, but I was just so excited to see her again. I say "hey we stopped by to see if you wanted to go to Denny's..." she cuts me off and says "ok, can my friend come?" I was about to say "...earlier, but you weren't home." but instead I say "sure." I jump in the truck and inform Jeremy we are going back to Denny's, he was not excited at all. After Heidi and Tammy grab their coats they jump in the truck and off we go to Denny's for another couple hours. Luckily Jeremy and I had plenty of caffeine and sugar in our systems and we were on our game for funny. Those girls laughed and laughed. There is still a running joke from that night "I'm green!" good times. I think that night is when I really started to notice her smile. Her eyes excited me and her smile made me feel at peace.
Heidi and I ended up together every day from then until she went to Georgia to see her Grandmother and other family. We got married after only knowing each other for 5 months. She used to make fun of people who did stuff like that.
They other day HD says to me "ya know, I think I was a rebound for you and you just got lucky." I know I got lucky but I'm not sure she was a rebound. either way its been a good 10 years. we've had ups and downs but I can't imagine being any happier then I am. I'm glad I found her.
Well any way the purpose of this story is obviously that I am excited about the new Denny's they just opened up down the street. I'm gonna get me a grand slam breakfast. I wonder if Even works there? He was always our waiter and it just wouldn't be the same with out him. On second thought, maybe I'll just skip it. The food isn't that good anyway.