Step into my office

Thank you for coming in today. I have been reviewing your record and found a few things that concerned me. First since your position was created you have not really accomplished much for us here and in fact have been creating more work for others on the team. This is not what we had in mind when we brought you on. On further review it seems you may have also been using your position and influence to advance the careers and wealth of a selected few by means of misleading and false information. It has also been brought to my attention that you have been causing a serious division amongst the work force which has lead to a severe drop in productivity and in some cases actual physical altercations.

So it is my duty to inform you that your position has been dissolved and your services are no longer needed. Security will escort you to your desk where you may collect your Nobel Peace Prize, The keys to your beach front home and any other personal belongings. Good luck to you Mr Global Warming and remember to bundle up because its FREAKING COLD OUT!

I am Magic

Yes it is true I am magic. I found out yesterday when I bought my magic floating ball. I was walking through the devils house, Walmart, checking out his goods at reasonable prices when I passed the Fushigi magic floating ball. It called to me. I ignored it. It beckoned me. I resisted. It's magic glowed from the box and it seemed to come alive, it begged me. I gave in. The magic on the box was so magical I had to pick it up. It reeked of magic. It was mesmerizing, A magic man on the box with a ponytail said it would float in mid air, it was beautiful and magnificent and only 9.98. A yellow smiling little devil confirmed the low low price. How could I put the Fushigi back on the shelf? It had called to me and I answered. The power of the Magic Fushigi would be mine, and at such a reasonable price too. I glowed as I wandered through the rest of the store or should I say H-E Double Hockey Sticks. I yearned for check out. Finally we selected a line, not too short but it had promise of speed. The heavily makeuped woman in front of us kept her visit with the neighbor she saw everyday, that happened to be passing by, to under ten minutes and it was our turn to convey our goods on the black belt and pay the man at the machine. I distracted him with chit chat about his oddly spelled name (Jerremy) so he wouldn't hear the Fushigi Magic ball call to him. Just in case it was a fickle Fushigi. Once we were home I opened it with great anticipation, it just sat there in my had, beautiful but not floating. I looked at the box again, the magic was still there printed in bright clear colors, the man with a pony tail, the Fushigi floating in front of him. Why was my Fushigi not floating?! I raced to the internet (the source of all truth and enlightenment) and searched. I found the magic pony tailed man doing amazing magic, he trained me as I watched and soon I was doing magic with my little f-ball. That's internet lingo for Magic Floating Fushigi Ball. It magically floated from one side of my hand to the other, it floated up my arm and back down. It magically floated off my hand to the floor with a loud thud, then magically raced at my wife's cheerio cabinet, no we don't keep Cheerios in it, we keep fragile things that look pretty, enclosed in glass so everybody in our bedroom can enjoy them. The Fushigi threatened to break our fragile nick knacks and I was banned from the bedroom with my Fushigi. And told to only do magic in the basement. The Fushigi wouldn't hear of it. Once out of eye sight of the nick knack guardian I was doing magic again. The Fushigi floated around my hand until I was in the kitchen where it again magically floated to the floor, this time on wood so it announced its magic properties with authority as it slammed to the floor. After several more magic floatings to the floor I became weary of the magic, it can really wear you out. I looked at my receipt and discovered that I had been charged 19.98 for my magic f-ball! what the crap was this magic? the magic price switch. I looked at the box, the magic was gone, there was just some nerd with a pony tail holding a ball on the tips of his fingers and on my desk sat a 20 dollar plastic ball. I guess it wasn't magic at all it was just me dropping the f-ball several times and no one was impressed.

worthless blog

some blogs have many followers, some even make money, some are updated daily, some accomplish great things like telling the story of someone cooking everything in a cook book or following famous people around. mine is just a lazy good for nothing freeloader, kind of like my cats only worse. it just sits there molding away and collecting dust. it rarely has a story about the family to tell, it rarely has photos to share. it sometimes goes months without an update. I may have to break up with it. I was thinking of starting a new blog, one with lots of followers and tons of photos, one that is updated regularly and shares interesting insight into some complicated project. or even a golden goose of a blog that makes me money oh how sweet it would be. (pause for a day dream)

so consider yourself on thin ice moldy blog, dust yourself off and start pulling your weight or you will be out on the street. I'm sick of the way you carelessly leave my readers wanting more and share no insight or photos. this is the last time i will give you a free warning, its shape up or ship out. and I'll tell you this... my next blog will be way more snazy with decorations and fancy colors, well placed photos with captions, fancy stories of my heroic actions and triple digit followers. it will love me and my readers will feel satisfied with the wonderful updates and completely mezmorized by the magic beauty and colors the fancy shapes outlying the edges. it will be way funny and whitty. it will laugh with me and cry with me and dance in a medow of golden daffadills. AND IT WILL HAVE CORECT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR AND PUNTUATION. (hero walks out and slams the door, blog cries softly to itself. lights fade slowly, run end credits. commercial)

the week in review

got home from disneyland saturday and took a break saturday and sunday, it was lovely to get off my feet for a bit. got the crew organized monday and out working and got work caught up. worked on my shed for several hours on monday and tuesday. hope to get the roof on and finish it this week. also pounded out over three thousand words on my book and its now just 51 words shy of 53000. it has been a ton of fun to write so far and I am really excited about the new stuff I have down. Heidi has been busy helping everybody every where she goes ever since we got home. and max now loves to read. of course the new deal of twenty min reading equals twenty min on the video game may be helping him love it. also got my new rc helicopter and I still have no idea who moe is.

Disneyland was awesome

Heidi and I took a trip to California all by ourselves, we hit Disneyland and California adventure and the beach and some surf shops. it was a killer cool trip. Max stayed with grandma and grandpa Christiansen so our time was not dictated by a small person with a small tummy, small bladder and short legs. we hit whatever ride we wanted as many times as we wanted, ate what we wanted when we wanted and hit the restroom when it was convenient rather than an emergency.

Tuesday we had a magic morning and got in early, we did space mountain three times in a row first thing. space mountain is my favorite ride, we also did screamin like ten times. thats my second favorite. the longest line was probably about a half hour so not too big of a deal. small world was the longest line. all in all it was a ton of fun and i would do it again but I missed max so not too soon. when he's a little bigger i'm sure we will go more often.

Kristi and Jer met us for Friday and brought Hyrum, he was a trooper and not too needy but it still changed the dynamics to have a kid around. there were a couple rides he didn't want to do but he did them anyway, way to go Hyrum.

Small world 1

space mountain 6

matterhorn 3

thundermountain 3

haunted mansion 2

peter pan 1

tea cups 1

story book 1

splash mountain 1

indiana jones 2

jungle cruise 1

Pinocchio 1

pirates 3

california screamin 8

ferris wheel 2

swings 2

zephir 1

ill add any more i remember

new shoes

I love my new shoes! I have, over the last few months, been expieriancing leg pain and over the past few weeks some intense knee pain finally followed by extreme foot pain.To say the least it sucked. I remembered that when I used to frame I didn't have trouble like that and I had a tool belt with like 30 lbs in it and on my feet for nearly ten hours a day. I wore merril boots at the time and decided to try another pair of merrils. In the first few hours the pain in my legs, feet and knees was gone. I love it. i was so excited I jumped on the treadmill and ran a mile, it felt great to move my fat self in an exercise type motion. I look forward to tomorrow which will be a full day of merril wearing. I bought them at cabellas for 109 and highly recomend to anyone with pain or loss of energy to try spending more than 20 bucks on shoes and see how you feel.

scugby

I invented a new game, its awesome so listen up. its a cross between soccer and rugby, its played with a soccer ball and soccer nets, they may need to be smaller. to score you have to kick it into the net. no there is no goalie so feel free to kick away. You can carry the ball but it is legal to tackle if the ball is in your hands. you can not pick the ball up, it has to be kicked up. you have to have both hands on the ball while holding it or throwing it. All players must be within half the field of the ball so no goal tending or cherry picking. after playing I may decide on a time limit for holding the ball. to start the game the ref tosses the ball into a circle of players in the center of the field kind of like hockey but with feet instead of sticks. if you are tackled and still hold the ball just get up and run again, if you tackle and knock the ball away its yours if you can get it.