Saturday, December 12, 2009

workin on a book

been working on a book for those who don't know. about 4000 words so far. another 120000 and i should be there.
its about a kid with a magic sword. good and evil and all that. hope it comes out as good as i imagine it.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

i would like to thank the little people and thanksgiving what nots.







when blogging you long for the day when you will find the extreme poularity of double digit followers. that day has come. i am now with eleven followers. i would like to extend a special thanks to my dearest friends on the internet, but most especially moe. with out you i would be at ten which is still double digits but none the less you make me an even eleven.

for thanksgiving we had two dinners to go to. one on thanksgiving day at my inlaws. and one in cedar on saturday with my....outlaws?? not sure what i would call my regular family. i guess i could just call them rf from now on. well down at the rf's thanksgiving two days after the real thanksgiving day we had a largeish crowed at my sister shastas. i say my sister shasta because moe may not know who she is. i know moe is not shasta because shasta is already a follower, under her real name of shasta. all the original gangstas were there. and all the outlaws inlaws or rf's inlaws which is to say the og's spouces. or ogs's. along with all the little peeps or ogp's.
the meal went well. we had a great feast on fancy dining sets in a big fancy house with a big fancy drink fountain with multiple levels and rotating lights. we ate on paper plates with plastic forks and drank from plastic cups, but there was an overwhelming amount of dirty dishes to deal with anyway. so overwhelming in fact i stayed clear of the kitchen for a good hour after dinner.
we laughed, played games and even did some photos. we did one photo called "sibling rivalry" during the sibling rivalry all my sisters and one brother decided to just pick on me. or at least it felt like that. i had fingers pulling my nose, fingers in my ear, an arm holding me in a half nelson and someone was tickling me. this could be suppressed anger and jealousy of my awesomeness or it could be total love and affection of an oldest brother who took great care of his younger siblings. except my younger brother justin who i threw down a flight of stairs, broke his nose twice and shot him with a pellet gun. i loved him them most.
on saturday several of the ogs's and a few og's (no peeps) headed out to three peaks for some paintball action. there were some fancy guns out there several of which broke down a number of times. my gun was a rental that may have been brought across the planes by original pioneer stock or ops's. it was tattered and torn and best of all it would drop paintballs out its nose if pointed down. it had a magic ability to shoot 2 or 5 paint balls at a time whenever it felt like it. the mask, it came with, was cleaned with 80 grit sandpaper and smelled of elder berries. tom was the lucky person to initiate me into the sport by shooting me in the hand at close proximity. it was a cold day and it hurt very much. all in all it was good times for nearly everyone, except ronny who sat at the top of a cold rock in the wind with a broken gun, wearing a facemask just in case a stray paint ball came her way.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

explanation of unseen things

i would like to talk about something serious now. this is something that threatens peoples lives every day. most people never see it coming and is always blamed on something else, heart attack, stroke, trip and fall and any number of unavoidable sudden disasters in peoples lives.

its invisible ninjas. they are everywhere. you may think what can i do to protect myself? well there is a special group of people who do just that, protect you and your family from surprise invisible ninja attacks.

have you ever seen someone throwing a punch or a high round house kick to what appears to be air? or perhaps using invisible nun chucks, sword, or staff. these are trained professionals who not only see invisible ninjas but do fierce and deadly battle with them every day. have you ever seen someone who appears to be having a heated argument all by themselves. they are in a heated exchange with an invisible ninja.

now you may think that people using invisible guns would be included with this group of protectors. no they are just crazy people. there is no such thing as an invisible gun.

i did once witness a man at a bus stop who was in an invisible ninja rock band. i believe he used music to disarm his foe and turn them from their evil ways of senseless killing. i would like to tip my hat to that man, he has my utmost respect.

i am one of those protectors who is charged with defending the ninja blind. i and my family are under constant attack from these unseen menacing masters of kung foo. there have been many instances when a quick throat jab or kick to the head has saved the lives of those i love.

my reason for telling my story is to open the doors of communication and understanding. to build bridges of hope and caring between our two worlds. i do not do it to brag of my amazing bow staff skills or my ability to catch and return an invisible throwing star with inhuman like speed and accuracy. no this is about a new world where the ninja blind and protectors can come together under the umbrella of respect. you to respect my amazingness and me to respect your inability to defend yourself against the unseen deliverers of death.

you may join my cause by donating money so that i may provide the invisible but desperately needed weapons. when you donate you will receive a card with invisible letters explaining which protector was trained and what weapon they received on your behalf. also your name will be placed on a list that will entitle you to special protection. and perhaps the most comforting blessing you will receive; the next time you see someone karate chopping the air you will have the sense of belonging to that special group that defend the innocent against the evil that is... invisible ninja.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

to moe

dear moe
i don't know who you are. you are one of my 9 followers bringing me to near double digits in popularity.
i am kind of excited, like i have a secret admirer or the like.
maybe you're my edward. sneaking into my room to watch me sleep with your diamond like skin. i appreciate your devotion but it creeps me out so don't hang out in my room while i'm asleep. i know its the in thing now but it just strikes me as wrong.
you could be a secret agent checking me out for a special assignment.
or a member of the secret service making sure i'm not planning an assassination. (i'm really not)
or an alien friend of mine keeping track of a mind control device that was planted years ago. (it no longer works)
or maybe your a millionaire on your death bed trying to find some kind soul who enlightens others with clever remarks on the world wide web that you would like to leave all your money to. well i am that man my friend.
i wait to see if you make a post so i can guess who you are. but you just sit there in utter silence with no photo and no clues as to your identity. its kind of weird but kind of ok with me. especially if there is money involved. unless i have to pay to get it shipped to me from nigeria

Sunday, November 15, 2009

blog sweet blog

oh my dear bloggy, i'm sorry i have nglected you so long. i miss our quite time together. i make a post and people i know make cute comments. it was good times.
now i'm on the face book and a bunch of odd balls i don't know make comments on peoples comments that i haven't seen nor talked with in years and it all pops up on my computer screen like a loud blaring siren that says you are not as cool as all these people who have conversations right in front of your face that you are not a part of so dont even try.
that was a long sentence but my sweet blog doesn't care, it loves me for who i am. a long winded weirdo who barley makes sence to himself and whos spelling is so bad that if you were able to follow my random rant you will soon be lost by misspelled words and bad grammars.
but this is my safe place so it is all ok. warm and wonderful here in my blog sweet blog.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

do it your self

i am a do it yourselfer. which can give you a great sense of accomplishment but it also has its draw backs. instead of buying things i need or want often times i try to build it my self which usually costs more, looks worse and sometimes results in not just time to build what ever but time off work from an injury.
there are several things you should not do yourself...ever. the first is dry wall. especially if you are trying to stop cussing. the second is dry wall. and the third is dentistry.
i am however considering taking up acupuncture. i figure if i build a board with all the little needles sticking out then lay flat on my tummy and lower the board using a pulley system connected to the ceiling it should work.
or my second idea is to set up a manifold system with pipes and an air compressor. i could use a web cam to aim it and then hit a button which would be connected to a valve and launch the small needles into the correct pain relieving spot on my back or neck. i know that 100 psi will shoot a broomstick out of a pipe, across the back yard and sink it into a dirt hill about a foot and a half. so with those calculations i figure 65 psi will be about right. now i just need a map of what spot on the back is connected to what pain and about 3 to 400 bucks in parts and i could save my self the 60 bucks it would cost to go to a trained professional.

my new calling

i was finally released from the elders quorum after nearly 4 years and now am serving with my lovely bride in the primary. we team teach the 10 year old kids. its like a dream job. only requires sundays and i get to sit with my wife throughout the entire sunday block. heidi has more experience with teaching kids so she comes prepared with games and stuff. i'm used to reading through the lesson once and having a big discussion about the topic and not getting to finish the lesson because everyone has a story about their mission they wanted to tell. today i taught and apparently the curtains were much more interesting. the kids were just tipping their chairs and fiddling with dresses and anything else they could reach. it kind of sucked. i told heidi she was going to have to teach from now on but i doubt that will fly, shes not a huge fan of teaching either even though it goes much better when she does it.
last week we were practicing for the primary program and we all had to watch the chorister so we knew when to stand and sit. well apparently i took a half step to one side while standing and then when instructed to sit i only got half of the chair and it must have been my lighter half since i promptly leaned to the un-chaired side and fell to the ground. not just your regular i've fallen and can't get up, no this had some flair to it as the chaired side of my posterior flipped over the un-chaired side and threw my face into the wall. the kids thought this was the funniest thing ever. i quickly jumped back into my seat very red faced and enjoyed the giggles coming from my class. good times! good times!