dear moe
i don't know who you are. you are one of my 9 followers bringing me to near double digits in popularity.
i am kind of excited, like i have a secret admirer or the like.
maybe you're my edward. sneaking into my room to watch me sleep with your diamond like skin. i appreciate your devotion but it creeps me out so don't hang out in my room while i'm asleep. i know its the in thing now but it just strikes me as wrong.
you could be a secret agent checking me out for a special assignment.
or a member of the secret service making sure i'm not planning an assassination. (i'm really not)
or an alien friend of mine keeping track of a mind control device that was planted years ago. (it no longer works)
or maybe your a millionaire on your death bed trying to find some kind soul who enlightens others with clever remarks on the world wide web that you would like to leave all your money to. well i am that man my friend.
i wait to see if you make a post so i can guess who you are. but you just sit there in utter silence with no photo and no clues as to your identity. its kind of weird but kind of ok with me. especially if there is money involved. unless i have to pay to get it shipped to me from nigeria
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
blog sweet blog
oh my dear bloggy, i'm sorry i have nglected you so long. i miss our quite time together. i make a post and people i know make cute comments. it was good times.
now i'm on the face book and a bunch of odd balls i don't know make comments on peoples comments that i haven't seen nor talked with in years and it all pops up on my computer screen like a loud blaring siren that says you are not as cool as all these people who have conversations right in front of your face that you are not a part of so dont even try.
that was a long sentence but my sweet blog doesn't care, it loves me for who i am. a long winded weirdo who barley makes sence to himself and whos spelling is so bad that if you were able to follow my random rant you will soon be lost by misspelled words and bad grammars.
but this is my safe place so it is all ok. warm and wonderful here in my blog sweet blog.
now i'm on the face book and a bunch of odd balls i don't know make comments on peoples comments that i haven't seen nor talked with in years and it all pops up on my computer screen like a loud blaring siren that says you are not as cool as all these people who have conversations right in front of your face that you are not a part of so dont even try.
that was a long sentence but my sweet blog doesn't care, it loves me for who i am. a long winded weirdo who barley makes sence to himself and whos spelling is so bad that if you were able to follow my random rant you will soon be lost by misspelled words and bad grammars.
but this is my safe place so it is all ok. warm and wonderful here in my blog sweet blog.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
do it your self
i am a do it yourselfer. which can give you a great sense of accomplishment but it also has its draw backs. instead of buying things i need or want often times i try to build it my self which usually costs more, looks worse and sometimes results in not just time to build what ever but time off work from an injury.
there are several things you should not do yourself...ever. the first is dry wall. especially if you are trying to stop cussing. the second is dry wall. and the third is dentistry.
i am however considering taking up acupuncture. i figure if i build a board with all the little needles sticking out then lay flat on my tummy and lower the board using a pulley system connected to the ceiling it should work.
or my second idea is to set up a manifold system with pipes and an air compressor. i could use a web cam to aim it and then hit a button which would be connected to a valve and launch the small needles into the correct pain relieving spot on my back or neck. i know that 100 psi will shoot a broomstick out of a pipe, across the back yard and sink it into a dirt hill about a foot and a half. so with those calculations i figure 65 psi will be about right. now i just need a map of what spot on the back is connected to what pain and about 3 to 400 bucks in parts and i could save my self the 60 bucks it would cost to go to a trained professional.
there are several things you should not do yourself...ever. the first is dry wall. especially if you are trying to stop cussing. the second is dry wall. and the third is dentistry.
i am however considering taking up acupuncture. i figure if i build a board with all the little needles sticking out then lay flat on my tummy and lower the board using a pulley system connected to the ceiling it should work.
or my second idea is to set up a manifold system with pipes and an air compressor. i could use a web cam to aim it and then hit a button which would be connected to a valve and launch the small needles into the correct pain relieving spot on my back or neck. i know that 100 psi will shoot a broomstick out of a pipe, across the back yard and sink it into a dirt hill about a foot and a half. so with those calculations i figure 65 psi will be about right. now i just need a map of what spot on the back is connected to what pain and about 3 to 400 bucks in parts and i could save my self the 60 bucks it would cost to go to a trained professional.
my new calling
i was finally released from the elders quorum after nearly 4 years and now am serving with my lovely bride in the primary. we team teach the 10 year old kids. its like a dream job. only requires sundays and i get to sit with my wife throughout the entire sunday block. heidi has more experience with teaching kids so she comes prepared with games and stuff. i'm used to reading through the lesson once and having a big discussion about the topic and not getting to finish the lesson because everyone has a story about their mission they wanted to tell. today i taught and apparently the curtains were much more interesting. the kids were just tipping their chairs and fiddling with dresses and anything else they could reach. it kind of sucked. i told heidi she was going to have to teach from now on but i doubt that will fly, shes not a huge fan of teaching either even though it goes much better when she does it.
last week we were practicing for the primary program and we all had to watch the chorister so we knew when to stand and sit. well apparently i took a half step to one side while standing and then when instructed to sit i only got half of the chair and it must have been my lighter half since i promptly leaned to the un-chaired side and fell to the ground. not just your regular i've fallen and can't get up, no this had some flair to it as the chaired side of my posterior flipped over the un-chaired side and threw my face into the wall. the kids thought this was the funniest thing ever. i quickly jumped back into my seat very red faced and enjoyed the giggles coming from my class. good times! good times!
last week we were practicing for the primary program and we all had to watch the chorister so we knew when to stand and sit. well apparently i took a half step to one side while standing and then when instructed to sit i only got half of the chair and it must have been my lighter half since i promptly leaned to the un-chaired side and fell to the ground. not just your regular i've fallen and can't get up, no this had some flair to it as the chaired side of my posterior flipped over the un-chaired side and threw my face into the wall. the kids thought this was the funniest thing ever. i quickly jumped back into my seat very red faced and enjoyed the giggles coming from my class. good times! good times!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Get Rich Quick Schemes That Really Do Work.
I am a genius, as many of you know, and as such many people have asked me how to obtain fame and fortune in this life. Naturally I am above material things except for big houses, nice cars, huge yachts, beach front property, small jets, pringles and game systems. oh and puppies.
So I have decided to compose a list of my top get rich quick schemes that can work for you.
The first is simple. First a man (or woman) with a drinking problem hides their addiction well enough to get a job driving truck. Then gets hired by a top beer company. While drunk, drives their truck and crashes into you causing minor injuries but a major lawsuit. Good luck, but really any decent lawyer could get you a truck load of cash. If you need help selecting an attorney, consult the back of your phone book. shazam! see the stars are moving into place already!
The second is almost as simple and with even less steps. First memorize all the harry potter books. Then invent a time machine. Travel back in time and wright the books yourself. shazam a library full of cash. The reason you have to memorize them is obvious, because just like in the back to the future movies things will start to disappear. You don't want to get half way through the half blood prince and have the book you are copying start to vanish. You would have to think up the rest on your own and that's like a couple thousand pages.
The third I hesitate to share as it is the one I am currently working on myself. The basic principal is that aliens will come down and ask me to be their personal guide on a tour of the earth. When I explain to them it will take money and that I have none, they will simply give me a few "out of this world gadgets" to patten and sell. Then they return and we go on tour. As we tour around the world they will find it handy that the guide know all the languages of earth. Knowing it would take a lifetime to learn them all, they will simply hook me up to their mind machine and program my brain with the needed info. Once I have learned where the machine is and how it works I simply sneak in while they are distracted looking at the man with all the tattoos and hook my self up to the guitar program. In minutes I become the greatest guitarist in history and shazam I'm rich and can play the guitar. The money wouldn't come from the inventions, just the yacht and the jet. The real money is in the guitar playing as I prefer to work for my money.
The fourth is probably the easiest and quickest. You learn real estate investing from a game. Then go find a mortgage broker who knows how to "work the numbers" and get a bunch of properties then wait for someone to offer you more then you paid for them and shazam a house full of money.
So I have decided to compose a list of my top get rich quick schemes that can work for you.
The first is simple. First a man (or woman) with a drinking problem hides their addiction well enough to get a job driving truck. Then gets hired by a top beer company. While drunk, drives their truck and crashes into you causing minor injuries but a major lawsuit. Good luck, but really any decent lawyer could get you a truck load of cash. If you need help selecting an attorney, consult the back of your phone book. shazam! see the stars are moving into place already!
The second is almost as simple and with even less steps. First memorize all the harry potter books. Then invent a time machine. Travel back in time and wright the books yourself. shazam a library full of cash. The reason you have to memorize them is obvious, because just like in the back to the future movies things will start to disappear. You don't want to get half way through the half blood prince and have the book you are copying start to vanish. You would have to think up the rest on your own and that's like a couple thousand pages.
The third I hesitate to share as it is the one I am currently working on myself. The basic principal is that aliens will come down and ask me to be their personal guide on a tour of the earth. When I explain to them it will take money and that I have none, they will simply give me a few "out of this world gadgets" to patten and sell. Then they return and we go on tour. As we tour around the world they will find it handy that the guide know all the languages of earth. Knowing it would take a lifetime to learn them all, they will simply hook me up to their mind machine and program my brain with the needed info. Once I have learned where the machine is and how it works I simply sneak in while they are distracted looking at the man with all the tattoos and hook my self up to the guitar program. In minutes I become the greatest guitarist in history and shazam I'm rich and can play the guitar. The money wouldn't come from the inventions, just the yacht and the jet. The real money is in the guitar playing as I prefer to work for my money.
The fourth is probably the easiest and quickest. You learn real estate investing from a game. Then go find a mortgage broker who knows how to "work the numbers" and get a bunch of properties then wait for someone to offer you more then you paid for them and shazam a house full of money.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
a cute thing max did.
so yesterday Heidi said to me "maybe you could put a post on your blog tomorrow." so I asked what I should blog church about and she replied "I don't know, some cute thing max did."
not sure if this would qualify but Max and I went to the homecoming of my cousin brad in Lindon. while we sat in the back of the meeting Max got bored, Heidi usually brings a bag of tricks for him. I forgot the bag so he lasted about 20 min then started to entertain himself by hitting me and putting his hands in my face and grabbing at me. really annoying at the time but if you think about it he has just missed my attention because I have been working more then normal as of late.
I decided not to try a strange primary for him as he did not do well in sacrament. we headed back to the Nichols house to wait for the open house to begin and max started asking questions about the church and if it was Jesus' church because it was strange that our church was Jesus' and this church was also. It turned into a good teaching moment as we talked about other churches and why everybody doesn't go to the same church. I sure was glad I had the answers. it was a little difficult to word it so a kid will understand but a good father son moment.
not sure if this would qualify but Max and I went to the homecoming of my cousin brad in Lindon. while we sat in the back of the meeting Max got bored, Heidi usually brings a bag of tricks for him. I forgot the bag so he lasted about 20 min then started to entertain himself by hitting me and putting his hands in my face and grabbing at me. really annoying at the time but if you think about it he has just missed my attention because I have been working more then normal as of late.
I decided not to try a strange primary for him as he did not do well in sacrament. we headed back to the Nichols house to wait for the open house to begin and max started asking questions about the church and if it was Jesus' church because it was strange that our church was Jesus' and this church was also. It turned into a good teaching moment as we talked about other churches and why everybody doesn't go to the same church. I sure was glad I had the answers. it was a little difficult to word it so a kid will understand but a good father son moment.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
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